Sovereignty

What does sovereignty over myself mean? A story about womb healing

Once during a healing session where I was encouraged to explore my womb space, I found myself in a lush, diverse, jungle-like ecosystem. The air smelled rich with decaying soil. A humid mist from a waterfall dampened my skin.

An urge to explore drew my attention to an overhead vine. I climbed the vine until I reached a large, semi-translucent bulb pulsing with life.

Shocked, I realized this was one of my ovaries and the vine I’d just climbed was a fallopian tube. Upon this awareness, I thought of my right ovary and suddenly I was near it. I knew before I looked, as it tends to go when we dream, that I’d find this ovary to be injured. As my consciousness moved around my ovary, I discovered an area that looked injured, open, and raw with wounding.

Instinctually, I brought my hands up to it and as I moved them over it, the wound healed. I immediately got to work. My consciousness moved to countless places that needed tending. In this environment, I was sometimes very small like a flying creature. Other times I was human size.

Eventually, I was drawn to the edge of a lagoon to rest. While sitting on a large boulder, I noticed that a cave opened deep into the rock directly behind the waterfall. I carefully climbed the rocks leading to the cave’s entrance and what I discovered inside was at once startling and a homecoming.

A circle of people sat around a fire. Instinctually, I knew they were ancestral relatives who’d been waiting for me. I took my seat within their circle watching as the fire illuminated aspects of their faces and cast shadows behind them.

I waited inside the circle, heaviness in my chest, longing for connection, for verbal communication. But what happened next can’t be explained by the part of me that speaks English. In essence, my ancestors worked to restore me. The sensations in and around my body conveyed messages to the deepest parts of me. I am never alone. Nothing I encounter in my time here on Earth is beyond their capacities.

Several years have passed since I first encountered the jungle in my womb. Since that time, I’ve made many, many visits. Through exploration, I discovered other mystical landscapes within my energy centers. I hope to share about them someday.

It is difficult to select and sort out each visit’s experiences. Over time, seeds they’ve planted have germinated and integrated into the ecosystem that is me.

Currently, I am traversing big changes and I hold steady knowing that I make it through with the assistance of those who came before me. At times, I get through only breath I’m breathing, trusting Nature’s wisdom is working on, with, and through me.

True sovereignty is knowing how to access the sacredness within myself.

Perhaps my female ancestors lost their way to their own sacred spaces. Perhaps they returned to ensure that I find my way to mine. I wonder how long they were waiting for me in that cave. I wonder how many helpers they sent my way. How many nudges that I followed (and ignored) before I made my way into the cave.

I know that no matter what happens in the world around me or even to my physical body, I can access my own sacredness. It’s a place that no one else has access to but me.